The Floridiot Files

Food Attack Crime Wave Spreads!

You’ll remember from this story that city of Port St. Lucie recently had two separate incidents of assaults committed using sandwiches. Well, we’re sorry to report that this crime wave is spreading -- both geographically and in terms of cuisine.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports that a Deltona teen has now been charged with domestic battery after hitting his mother with a taco. So please, be careful out there. Remain vigilant against food attacks.

In the beginning, there was stupid.

I've been noticing for a while that a lot of the "stupid criminals" news stories seem originate in this state. I started cataloging some of these items on my personal blog, but there were so many stories it was taking over, so I decided to start a dedicated blog. Please share any items you find!

To kick things off, two classics from my blog:

First there is this one out of Ocala, FL, where a bank robber used his own personal check, with his name on it, as a robbery note.

Second, and the best I've seen in quite some time, is this story (be sure to watch the video), from Deland, FL where a guy tries to use a dried up palm frond as a weapon to rob a convenience store. Besides the hilarious dialogue, weird gestures (I like the way he shakes his hand "Hey!" when the clerk touches him), putting his shirt over his head like the Bazooka Joe character, and the fact that he is shooed out with a stool, the funniest thing is of course his choice of weapon. Someone pointed out to me that even doing the old "my hand in my jacket pocket is a gun" routine would have worked better, which is a good point. I think it says something about your skills as a robber when you choose to intimidate using a real "weapon" that is less effective than an imaginary one.