The Floridiot Files

Plop-Plop the Emu Tasered

An older story, but too good to pass up:

An Emu named Plop-Plop escaped from a farm in Panama City and then “went crazy”. Deputies tasered the bird to get it under control. Plop-Plop made a full recovery.

This was the only Emu tasered in Florida this year, as far as I know, but not the only one in the country. Less than two weeks later, another Emu (name not given) was tasered by Pennsylvania State Police officers after a two hour attempt to catch the bird, who was running along eastbound lanes of the turnpike near Pittsburg causing all sorts of traffic problems. That Emu didn’t survive the jolt.

Mystery Shoes Clog Expressway

Thousands of used shoes mysteriously appeared covering a half mile of Miami highway during rush hour this morning. The police are not sure where the shoes came from -- no signs of a crash, and nobody has claimed them. A private contractor brought in a front end loader and a dump truck to clear them. It took almost two hours to clear the road, and traffic backed up more than a mile at one point.

Story here and here.

My theory? Bungled arms shipment to militant anti-Bush journalists.

Nice Try: Getting out of a Traffic Stop

Problem: you’re a felon in possession of a gun, driving around on a suspended license, and you’re about to be stopped by police.

Solution: why, just call in an armed robbery a few blocks away, and the police will leave to answer it!

Unfortunately it didn’t work out so well for this guy. Another unit saw him ditch his car (leaving the engine running and his gun behind, under some Cheetos). They found him and eventually connected him with the 911 call, so his ruse only managed to add “Misuse of 911” and “obstruction” to his charges.