The Floridiot Files

Wheelchair Mayhem

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I think of this story as being kind of like the movie Duel, except the chases happen at 3mph, with an electric whirring sound...

As reported by TCPalm, Harry Lee Gray, left, of Ft. Pierce has been arrested on misdemeanor battery and criminal mischief charges after a bicyclist reported to police that Gray had chased her around a parking lot with his electric wheelchair on three consecutive days, crashing into her. Once he picked up the bike and slammed it to the ground, according to eyewitnesses.

No motive for the attacks was given, but the police report notes that Gray appeared to be intoxicated at the time of arrest.

Weight Watchers demonstrator shoplifts cupcakes

What is it with Port St. Lucie and food?

fail owned pwned pictures
Hat tip to Fail Blog for this one.

Full story at TCPalm.

Floridiots afoot!

Picked up by a Texas TV station no less, we have this story:

A Florida firefighter who admitted taking a severed foot from an accident scene has resigned.

St. Lucie County Fire Chief Ron Parrish said Cindy Economou, a 14 year veteran and former firefighter of the year for St. Lucie County, resigned after she was presented with the investigation report into the incident.

He said after seeing the report, which found her at fault for removing the foot, she resigned.

Parrish wouldn't say if she was encouraged to resign or if she did so voluntarily.

[...]

Economou admitted to investigators that she removed the foot, which had been severed in the crash, so that she could take it home to help train cadaver dogs, a hobby of hers.

Breast Pump Bandits caught

Police have now caught the two men who stole $15,000 worth of breast pumps to sell on eBay.

The original theft was reported in First Coast News:

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL -- Port St. Lucie, Florida police are looking for two Coral Springs men who they suspect stole more than four dozen breast pumps from a local Babies "R" Us store.

[...]

Sandwich Attacks on the Rise

Two different incidents in St. Lucie County of assaults with sandwiches!

The first:

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving.
[...]
He was arrested, jailed and later freed on $7,500 bail.

Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.


And the second:

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —  Police say a Port St. Lucie man was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, the second food attack that sent a man to jail in about a month.
[...]
Rubin admitted to throwing the food but not hitting her. He was arrested Friday and faces a battery charge.Last month, another man was arrested on a battery charge for hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing a traffic crash.

Cross Dressing Purse Snatcher caught

From TCPalm, a followup to this earlier item:

PORT ST. LUCIE — A cross-dressing robber accused of snatching a 74-year-old woman's purse in St. Lucie West in September before a faux breast popped out of his tube top was arrested Friday as he sat in the Orange County jail, a sergeant said Monday.
[...]
"I started screaming, saying the woman had stolen my purse, and (a witness) said, 'That wasn't a woman,'" Fournier recalled. "I said, 'Are you sure,' and she said 'I'm positive,' she said, 'See what fell out of the top of his blouse.'"

The fashion police are also investigating

Pay particular attention to the description of the perp in the last paragraph.

From TCPalm:

PORT ST. LUCIE — A cross-dressing robber snatched a 74-year-old woman's purse in St. Lucie West on Tuesday before a faux breast popped out of his tube top, according to a police report released Thursday.

The alleged female-impersonating robber then hopped into a four-door silver getaway car occupied by possibly two other men in drag and sped off, leaving the victim and the faux breast — a water-filled condom in a white gym sock — at the scene.

"We're processing the condom for latent prints," said Officer Robert Vega, police spokesman.

The victim was pushed to the ground and sustained minor injuries in the incident at the Sears on St. Lucie West Boulevard.

Police also recovered two hairs on the sock that might be chest hairs. Investigators are submitting them for DNA analysis.

The assailant wore a short jean skirt, tube top and white flip-flops, weighs 130 to 140 pounds and is of thin build. He sported shoulder-length hair with maroon hair attachments in a dreadlocks style.