The Floridiot Files

No Parking Here

I hope the pickup's owner has good insurance... this Ferarri model starts at $277,124.

Band-aids? For $500 you should at least get duct tape!

An old story from FAIL BLOG:


Breaking News! Fidel Castro Arrested in Miami!

...for driving on a permanently suspended driver’s license.

Castro was arrested Friday about 1:31 a.m. in a white Ford pickup truck on Southwest 23rd Street and 34th Avenue.

OK, so it’s not that Fidel Castro. This one is only 32 years old, and does not wear a beard or track suit. According to the Herald article:

At least 33 Fidel Castros with different dates of birth have been arrested in Miami-Dade over the decades, jail records show. The charges range from petty theft to cocaine possession to racketeering

Man Steals Hearse During Funeral

Highlights of this story:

  • Man steals a hearse during a funeral
  • Takes it to his house and asks relatives if they want a ride
  • On the way back to the funeral home, gets involved in a police pursuit
  • Drives towards an officer, who shoots him in the leg
  • Returns the car to the funeral home before the service ends
  • He is then arrested

I think getting involved in a police chase and then shot by police while returning a stolen vehicle is what really makes this one classic!

No word on how the funeral proceeded after that (with the addition of a bullet hole in the hearse?)

A little light driving

MIAMI (CBS4) ― Imagine trying to strap a light pole, at least 30 feet long, to the roof of an Astro mini-van. Now imagine driving through busy downtown Miami traffic with that pole tied to your vehicle. That's exactly what cops say Elio Valerio and a friend did just before they were pulled over.
He managed to drive all the way from 83rd and Biscayne Boulevard to Northwest 7th Avenue and Northwest 21st Street.

Story with video here. Google Maps says thats about a 5 mile, 15 minute drive through downtown with the stolen street light pole strapped to his minivan!