The Floridiot Files

No Parking Here

I hope the pickup's owner has good insurance... this Ferarri model starts at $277,124.

Band-aids? For $500 you should at least get duct tape!

An old story from FAIL BLOG:

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Breaking News! Fidel Castro Arrested in Miami!

...for driving on a permanently suspended driver’s license.

Castro was arrested Friday about 1:31 a.m. in a white Ford pickup truck on Southwest 23rd Street and 34th Avenue.


OK, so it’s not that Fidel Castro. This one is only 32 years old, and does not wear a beard or track suit. According to the Herald article:

At least 33 Fidel Castros with different dates of birth have been arrested in Miami-Dade over the decades, jail records show. The charges range from petty theft to cocaine possession to racketeering

Man Steals Hearse During Funeral

Highlights of this story:

  • Man steals a hearse during a funeral
  • Takes it to his house and asks relatives if they want a ride
  • On the way back to the funeral home, gets involved in a police pursuit
  • Drives towards an officer, who shoots him in the leg
  • Returns the car to the funeral home before the service ends
  • He is then arrested

I think getting involved in a police chase and then shot by police while returning a stolen vehicle is what really makes this one classic!

No word on how the funeral proceeded after that (with the addition of a bullet hole in the hearse?)

A little light driving

MIAMI (CBS4) ― Imagine trying to strap a light pole, at least 30 feet long, to the roof of an Astro mini-van. Now imagine driving through busy downtown Miami traffic with that pole tied to your vehicle. That's exactly what cops say Elio Valerio and a friend did just before they were pulled over.
[...]
He managed to drive all the way from 83rd and Biscayne Boulevard to Northwest 7th Avenue and Northwest 21st Street.


Story with video here. Google Maps says thats about a 5 mile, 15 minute drive through downtown with the stolen street light pole strapped to his minivan!