The Floridiot Files

A Heated Argument... Har Har!

A Ft. Lauderdale area women, who admitted being in a "heated verbal argument" with her boyfriend, has been arrested on assault charges for allegedly setting the crotch of his pants on fire while he slept. The man, who reported awakening to a "burning sensation," was unharmed.

(I guess there is no such charge as "trouser arson"?)

Story

Nice Try: Avoiding Probation Violation

Problem: only after giving a urine sample at the probation office do you realize that it will test positive for drugs and you’ll be violated back to prison.

Solution: steal a fridge full of urine!

Problem #2: you cut yourself on the window you broke to get in and steal the fridge.

Solution #2: Steal the bloody broken glass too, and the set fire to the shrubs underneath the window do destroy any evidence that might have gotten on them.

Unfortunately for Devin Perry, who cooked up this scheme, there were only so many samples in the fridge and thus a short list of suspects. When police got to his house they found the bloody shards of glass in the trash, so he managed to add arson, destroying evidence, burglary and larceny charges to his probation violation.

Full story from The Gainesville Sun.