The Floridiot Files

Man blames in-flight masturbation on spilled Tobasco

A Florida man was arrested for exposing himself and possibly masturbating on a flight while sitting next to a 17 year old girl. His excuse? He claims to have spilled Tobasco on his groin and was "massaging" it to deal with the "incredible itch" that resulted.

The police did not buy his explanation.

Read the Police Report at The Smoking Gun

Professor Arrested for Having "Suspicious" Bagel on Plane

According to a NBC 6 Miami story, a University of North Florida mathematics and statistics professor was arrested and removed from a US Airways flight for having a suspicious package -- which turned out to be a hat, some keys, and a bagel with cream cheese. When confronted, he refused to hang up his cell phone, and was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and interfering with the operation of an aircraft.

Remember, if you see something, say something. You could stop the next bagel-carrying professor!

Though personally, we think it was just a schmear campaign...